Deja Vu

After a really long time, I had a chance to revisit and read my earlier blogs. It was the time I was jobless after completing engineering. My several attempts to get a job wasn't fruitful and I had to do something get the attention of people; had to prove people, society that I'm not done yet. So I began this blog. Named it as catharses. This word, catharsis, I read in one of Big B's blog. It was so apt to name my blog after it. Started writing so much and fell in love with writing. Writing forced me to read a lot. Know things, people, life.

Then came the disaster in the late March 2010. I got employed in a company. My repeated attempts to continue my blog weren't successful. I lost the flow in my writing. I still remember posting on my Facebook wall after six months of my employment:

"Jobless when I had aim; Aimless when I have a job"

There are so many unfinished blogs saved in my computer which I thought I would never post, until today, when I re-read my earlier posts. I still remember one of my friends sending me a big message on Facebook appreciating my blog. I still remember feeling proud when one of my colleagues suddenly stood up from the seat and said "you'll become a writer one day". These moments are the ones that makes me feel good that I've been so different the crowd then and now regret how normal a person I've become. I hate so much to be a normal person. I don't like be just another brick in the wall. I hate to be what I am right now. I want a rebirth. I wish my life had a factory reset button. I wish to use my passion for writing as one.

Another ‘Bus’time Story

Standing at the bus stand at nine in the night, in the sweltering heat, all you can pray for is nothing less than an AC Volvo Bus with a vacant seat! When I saw the same, before I had finish my prayers, I was more than relieved.

I don't love travelling in a bus. I don't hate it either. At least you don't have to worry about getting caught by the traffic cop for the lack of insurance papers or the impending scratch the next car is going to cause to your vehicle. In case of a bus, all you got to worry about is to get a seat and a ticket! I did not have any problems getting the two tonight. Experience matters. Sitting in the middle of the middle three seats in the Volvo is a not an easy job in hands. As long as you have a right balance, you can chase the climax pages of your James Hadley Chase novel, without a free fall from the seat. The bus driver's poor lane discipline almost transformed the middle of the road as his bus stop.

My eyes that were glued to the brown tinted pages of the book got slightly distracted by the foot-tapping sound of an approaching girl wearing high heels. I was really proud of my hearing capabilities when I saw a pair of fair feet clenched in red high heels, walking towards the vacant seat to the left of me. The book kept me so busy that I didn't have anything more to say about her. There were other two guys one wearing sneakers and the other wearing a sewed leather shoes. The girl next to me didn't have a voice to keep in mind but it distracted me as she was now speaking on her phone. The conversation was nothing more than teaching the person on the other end to prepare popcorn. She cut the phone only to annoy me again with her blaring headphones!

All I was doing was just giving a reading pose for the CCTV cameras installed in the bus. The feet of the two men were pointed towards the girl suggested me that they were looking at her. The curse of being beautiful? I was just worried if the girl sitting next to me was beautiful, proving my theory wrong; the beauty of a girl sitting in the bus is inversely proportional to the distance between you and her! I was no more reading the book. The bus was almost nearing its destination. It means that I'll be able to decide if my theory needs to have an exception in case of a Volvo bus.

The bus driver's jerking halt was his announcement to the passengers that they need to get down. I delayed my exit from the bus giving myself a better chance of knowing whether the theory needs an exception. The moment I got down the bus I was sure of two things. Those two guys really had a bad taste and my theory holds damn good without any exception!!

More Than Just Plain Words

Today morning nine o clock, I was sitting in a bus that takes me to my office. I normally don’t like people who get deafened by loud earphones and don’t like to be one. But today something made me carry earphones with me and I thought to give it a try. By the time I could decide upon the number, I heard two old gentlemen talking right in front of me. That conversation did not let me hear songs. I preferred to eavesdrop what they were talking. It would be very gentle term if I call it as just a conversation. It was more than a conversation; it was an outburst of being helpless, regret of being shackled to old age and any more superlatives would suffice their distress.

The conversation began with the old man on my right side saying “Forgetfulness! These days I forget everything. Is it common to everybody who gets old?” The other gentleman nodded his head in consent. The gentleman on the right side said,

“I don’t really like to depend on somebody. I always wanted to be independent, but these days I’m finding it hard to do what I want to, on my own.”

For most of the conversation the gentleman on the left side either shook his head or mumbled something. It was the old man on the right who did all the talking.

“It is better to find some old age homes for us. At least there we find some people who can take care of us. The concept of joint family is all gone. Even in a joint family, we are being used as babysitters. For six months we have to stay with them to take care of their children. The other six months we have to stay alone.”

After ensuring that he did not miss his stop he continued,

“People vent out all their angers on us. Just because we are weak and aged,we are incapable of being on our own we have no other go, but to listen to whatever they spill out of their mouth.”   

He turned back and looked at me to check if I was hearing him talk. The earphones made him believe that I was not overhearing them. The old man continued,

“Everything is because of this software companies. People have started earning so much money early in their career. We see this much money only when we retire. Youngsters these days have become independent. In our days people get government jobs with meagre salary. Software companies have totally destroyed the culture in this country.”

He again looked back at me and said,

“Last Friday night at one o clock in the night, my wife suddenly fell sick and I had to come out of home to get some medicines. There was a bunch of boys and girls here...”, the old man tried his best to dust his memory out.

The other old gentleman tried to define ‘here’ by asking whether it was bus stand. After a bit of struggle the old man on the right clarified that it was near Sutherland at Velachery and continued,

“A bunch of boys and girls were just laughing and enjoying like anything.”

He reiterated the words ‘one o clock’ at least five times, if my math is correct. He asked the conductor if he had reached his stop. The conductor confirmed him that he has reached his destination. He gave a smile that meant his helplessness and bade good bye to his peer.

P.S. Though the old man on the right side was not always on the ‘right side’, the words he spoke were etched in my mind; it kept me awake till midnight and also made me post it in my blog in the wee hours of the night!

...ceedee...

I'm Back!

There are certain things in life which requires constant touch to be good at it - from riding a bicycle to our handwriting. There are certain things that are very characteristic of you. Some people create something characteristic of themselves and some are born with it. I was born with nothing and it took me a lot of time and effort to have those 14 people on the right side of that page to follow my blog. To be true my blog even got me my job (FYI)! So it’s high time I started feeding my thoughts into my blog before Blogger scraps my page off! Be right back...

...ceedee...

4th Idiot

A guy was waiting at the bus stop, letting go nearly seven buses, hoping to get a direct bus to his destination. Fed up of waiting, he took some other bus. As, he tried to find a 2x2 square feet space in the bus to avoid himself landing on someone’s lap when the bus driver brakes, he found himself leaving (in slow motion) the bus stop and the bus for which he was waiting. Cursing himself, he tried to find the conductor to get his ticket. He saw a patch of brown uniform and tried to scratch him by poking his hand through a small gap. To his surprise he heard the conductor’s voice from the direction right opposite to where he tried to poke his hands. With the help of a series of smart and swift moves he caught hold (literally) of a seat in a jam-packed bus. He reached his destination which was a computer training centre where he was attending his training classes.

He reached very early to the class and was waiting for some of his friends to arrive. One of his friends was a guy who had come all the way from Delhi to attend this computer training. After two hours of lecture they had to take three hours of practical session. Between these two sessions, he had enough to time to have a break and a leak. This guy was so very shy that he always uses a separate rest room instead of the open-for-all one. Through the ventilation he saw the adjacent building where people were working and suddenly got an awkward feeling whether they also saw him. So he hurried out of the rest room hastily. He and two of his friends went to the top floor to get some fresh air. Once his practical session was over, he and the Delhi guy left the class together. The Delhi guy forced him to have lunch in a restaurant nearby. The restaurant was almost full, but somehow they managed to get a place to fill their stomachs with a Dosa each. He bade goodbye to that Delhi guy and crossed the road to catch the bus on the other side. At the bus stop he saw three girls, who were also attending the class with him, waiting for the bus. Pretending not to have seen them, he was waiting for the bus and took it when it came not before fifteen minutes. He reached his place and walked to his home. On his way home, he acknowledged his cousin sister who came right opposite to him, with a smile. After reaching home, he fell on the sofa relaxing for some time and then went to the washbasin to wash his face. There he found out that an important part of his pant was not closed. He found his pant to be unzipped! His mind started wondering for how long he had been roaming around like this. He started feeling awkward. He went back in time to figure out when and how it had happened to him. He finally narrowed down to the rest room fiasco at computer class. He reckoned that it was from that time onwards he had reverted back to his baby days! The rest of the day was spent on thinking about how stupid he was. Last thing I wanted to say is to be careful that it doesn’t happen to you, because that guy was unfortunately me!

P.S. When asked about this stupid act of mine to the Alchemist fame, Paulo Coelho, he said, “It’s a good omen, because you’ve made people around to look at you with awe. This tells me that you’ll become famous one day.”