...ceedee... in the news again

a mail to 'india today' from me got published in oct 19th, 2009 issue!!

the other time i was news!!

Indian Cricket Injured

Once again Indian Cricket is back to its same old situation. Looks like Dhoni’s lady luck has gone for a date with somebody else. He has even stopped winning tosses. India’s early exit from the Champions Trophy is not a miracle. You cannot expect a team to win when its fielders cannot get hold of even an easy sitter. Dhoni has become so ill-lucked captain that even his team wins a match, it requires the help of its arch-rivals. The match between Australia and Pakistan was superbly staged to look like a nail-biting finish. They were trying to fool Indian Cricket fans. There are some instances to justify my gut-feeling that Aus v Pak was deliberately brought down to the wire. First of all, Pakistan played at a very slow pace. Kamran Akmal who is usually a hard hitter was scoring at a rate of 69.84 which is far below his overall strike rate of 84.33. Shoaib malik who was scoring at a rate 101.36 against India was striking at rate of 72.36 against Australia.. If you’ve started thinking that I am reading too much between the lines, please justify this for me. In the West Indies vs. India match when Windies lost 6 wickets they immediately applied the batting powerplay. Whereas the four time World Cup winners did not take the powerplay at all. In fact they lost 7 wickets for 176 in 41.5 overs. The batting powerplay was forcefully applied when they reached 45^th over. Moreover there was no intensity at all between the two teams during the final overs as it should be. All we could see was Brett Lee exchanging smiles with ever-smiling terrorist, Younus Khan and Afiridi.

Indian team has been injured very badly. Its high time Indian team rejuvenates themselves and get ready for their Australia Series. By using the word ‘rejuvenate’ I did not mean Kirsten’s idea of rejuvenating!

Mother of all Rivalries

India and cricket are synonymous to each other. For the last two months with no cricket involving India, it was very boring. Even the Champion’s Trophy so far was as dull as watching chess match! Today is going to be the clash of India and Pakistan! There has been enough build up to the match by our Goswamis and Sardesais. The headlines they use to describe the match are so provocative that they may even trigger war between the two countries. It was during the time when India and Pakistan were too friendly on the field; Twenty20 World Cup finals revived the rivalry between the two teams. India-Pakistan rivalry is too special. It’s more than cricket between them; it’s a different ball game altogether. I just wanted to compile some of the memorable instances of India-Pakistan clashes before the match starts today!

This is Too Much

Today September 04, 2009 in the page 14 of Times of India there was this important news.

Barack Obama’s daughter Sasha tries to sneak in on him from behind a sofa in the Oval Office.

What if Obama was some person working as a government servant in India, living in a 500 sq. ft., single bedroom house and Sasha was a 5^th standard student studying in a government school. Just because he is the president of the most powerful country, not every activity in house becomes news for people. Americans may be proud of their first citizen’s daughter’s mischief, but Indians are surely not. I don’t think this could have made news even in the American newspapers. We, in India pray for Obama to become the President, to whom throwing out Indians was the primary goal. Indians are too innocent. ‘Indians’a ellorum romba nallavanga’nu solranga!’

A Death and Two Funerals

Yesterday was a day when the world saw the death of one the dynamic chief ministers of the country that unfolded in episodes. The day began with the first episode where rescue team resumed one of the biggest search operations of the country. The second episode was when one of the channels reported that some wreckage of the copter was found. The channel called ‘Sakshi TV’ ironically belonged to YSR’s family was the one to report it first. One of the helicopters that were hovering around the crash site dropped a paper wrapped around Lifebuoy soap. The paper contained the GPS coordinates of the crash site. All along the search operation YSR was believed to be alive as ELT was not triggered. Unfortunately YSR and other co passengers were after all human beings. All the rescue team could bring back were their mortal remains. This is the saddest part of all.

When the whole of India were glued on TV to watch funeral of YSR, the rest of the world also had another funeral to be watched. It was the funeral of Michael Jackson, the king of pop. There can be nobody in this world who never knew of the person called Michael Jackson. He is, was and will be the most famous person on earth. Chinna kozhandhaiya keta kooda theriyum. He is a person who has influenced people of multiple generations. His works have inspired a lot of Kollywood directors. Shankar is one such director who has exploited MJ’s works in most of his films. Some of them are ‘Maya Machindra’ song from Indian is based on ‘Remember the Time’ of MJ, Anniyan climax is based on ‘Thriller’ video’s climax, ‘Kannodu Kanbathellam’ song from Jeans where a skeleton will be made to dance is based on MJ’s song called ‘Ghosts’, ‘Break the Rules’ song from Boys is based on ‘They don’t really care about us’ number of MJ and a lot more. He is a genius. He healed the world. He was gone too soon.

"Man has but three events in his life: to be born, to live, and to die. He is not conscious of his birth, he suffers at his death and he forgets to live." -Jean de la Bruyere

Who the Hell Cares About it??

Over the last week when I looked at the newspapers I felt like being in the year 1947. The reason was Jaswant Singh. He is not to be blamed. Of course having lost the election so badly, he and his party had nothing to make news about. So Jaswant wrote a book for which he had expected even more fracas. It has become a practice of people writing the books after their retirement. Ironically in case of Jaswant Singh, his book caused his retirement! With his book he has opened a bottle of worms that stirred up some of the old historians to dust off their memories of Indian Independence and Partition. People have started debates of whether Jinnah was the real villain in the partition or whether Nehru and Patel were his accomplices. What are the voters going to benefit from raking issues that are already dead and buried? The news channels were spot on making a mountain out of a mole trying to magnify everything they get out of some 70 plus gentlemen. They are happy that they have something in store for the coming month. Otherwise they’ll go back to the swine flu death countdown or Rakhi Sawant ki Swayamvar. Even if this partition row gets over, we have another entertainment sponsored by our BJP comedians which shows no signs of getting over in the near future. This has got enough potential to become the next big blockbuster. May be RGV is itching to make one. He doesn’t even have to wait long for actors’ call sheet. Sooner or later all BJP leaders are going to be suspended and RGV can make use of them. Oh my God, how does it feel like being in a party where all its party followers are against it, calling their leaders all the names under the sun, a party having number of factions larger than the number of states in the country, a party having opposition within itself. There are people who are in pursuit of a second earth, water in Mars, et cetera but back in India we are still talking of Partition, Independence, Nehru and Jinnah. When will Indians wake up from dreaming about the past? India is not going to attain 9% GDP if Nehru is proved to be a hero and not an alleged anti-hero and Pakistan is not going to stop asking for the next dossier if Jinnah is accepted as hero! There are lots of things that India should not learn from US. But India should treat history like an American woman who doesn’t even care to look at her divorced husband who comes walking opposite her! May be that is why they are a superpower!

...ceedee... in the news

August 27, 2009, The New Indian Express

May 18, 2008, The Times of India

Disposable Gods

This Sunday is gonna be Ganesh Chathurthi. Our Ganesh who was happily having milk abhishekaas (sometimes literally had milk) at temple has to come out to have sweat abhishekaas. Of course this suffering is very minor when compared to the immersion in the water, where he has to suffer for breath and die of asphyxiation. Ganesh Chathurthi is a day when Ganesh will be brought to streets to toil in the heat and people gulping sweets sitting at home in the name of Ganesh. Do you know something? Lord Ganesh was created, sorry born in a jiffy. The story goes like this. One day Lord Shiva was out to a war. His wife Parvati wanted to bathe. As his hubby was out of station, she had the thought of having a bodyguard and created Ganesh with the sandalwood paste. May be Britney Spears knew about Parvati earlier and wanted bodyguards for her. Parvati wanted them only when her husband was out. In case of Britney regardless of whether her husband (sorry I did not know who her hubby was when I wrote this post) was with her or not, bodyguards were there. Like her shadows they protected her from paparazzi and fans, sometimes from her past, present and future hubbies too. I think this post is turning out to be Britney’s special.

On Her Guard

Let’s turn our attention to Ganesh. So, Ganesh was created in jiffy. Another interesting story is that Lord Shiva himself did not know that he had a son called Ganesh. As Ganesh was born when he was out of station on war duty, he didn’t know that he became a father. When he returned home after battle and tried to enter into Parvati’s chamber, he was stopped by his son. Enraged by this Shiva cut off his son’s head. Please don’t ask for how long Parvati was bathing. Parvati was raged by his hubby’s foolish act and told her that he was his son Ganesh. This is the turning point of the story. Here is where SA Rajkumar does his ‘lala laa la la laaa’ in the BGM. She explained him that he was protecting her. And when Parvati was all set to destroy the whole world, Shiva ordered his commandoes to bring the head of a child that was sleeping with its head placed in the north direction. The commandoes of Shiva were too intelligent than their boss. They brought the head of an elephant that was sleeping with its head placed in the north and Parvati gave elephant-headed Ganesh life.

On a Normal Day

Ganesh Chathurthi is considered to be Ganesh’s birthday. The person who popularised the idea of making Ganesh idols and submerging them in the sea was none other than the person who said ‘Swaraj is my birthright and I shall have it’. Yeah it was Bal Gangadhar Tilak. Incidentally when I was reading about him I came to know that BGT and I shared the same birthday! And he brought about his idea to bring people from upper and lower castes together in a show of unity to the British. Earlier days Ganesh idols were made of clay and they were submerged in nearby water body. But nowadays ‘yeh dil maange more’ attitude resulted in making huge Ganesh idols of Plaster of Paris. The problem with plaster of Paris is that it takes more time to dissolve and also release toxic substances that pose a threat to sea life. It’s a common sight to see shoals of dead fish the next day on the shore. It’s only now plastics have been banned in the world’s second longest beach, the Marina, Ganesh Chathurthi only going to bring these waters tonnes of plastics and gallons of toxics.

On his birthday, waiting to swim!

Happy Independence Day

Headlines of some famous newspapers on August 15, 1947

The Constittution of India

Indian Independence Act, 1947

Click here for Indian Independence Act, 1947 passed in the British Parliament.

Click Here for some posters on Indian Independence.

Click Here for the Tryst with Destiny speech by Nehru (pdf).

Click here for the Tryst with Destiny speech by Nehru (video).

JaiHind!!

Tryst with Mediocrity

Every time I complete watching a movie based on Indian independence I feel very proud. But unfortunately that feeling lasts only till I switch on the news to see our self-centered, selfish politicians. Even after 60 + years of independence, India has lost all of its chances to be one of the global powers, whereas China has exploited each and every chance to make its stand firm in the global stage. The Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremony made US and other superpowers run for a cover. It was how the world peeped through the iron curtain to get a ballpark figure of China’s strength and power. To be true it was how China flexed its muscles to the world. India too has a chance to showcase its might at Commonwealth Games in 2010. With only 415 days to go all we could see is some haphazard caused by deadline driven projects. When we cannot even infuse confidence into a meager group of badminton players how can we expect India to become a super power in 2020. They say the players overreacted, but we should have done something that neutralizes their doubts over the security.

Beijing National Stadium (Bird's Nest), China

Jawaharlal National Stadium, New Delhi

One major fear lingering in the minds of the first world countries is the way India and China had fought back the global recession still maintaining their growth rate only with a slight fall. When it was a recession everywhere, it was just a slowdown in India. Every other country tout that India has a potential of becoming a superpower but all we do is bask happily in the past glory and achievements. De-politicization of developmental process is the first and major step; if at all our country likes to stand tall in the world stage. Why does a politician or a political party take a ownership in building a flyover or a bridge or something with taxpayers’ money? It is only their duty to fulfill the promises for which they have been voted for. Government officials must be insulated from the authority of politicians. Red tape is the major hurdle in the way of the development of the country. In India development could be seen only in the families of politicians, their accounts, their assets and in some cases, development in the number of families of a politician. Why is there a manifold increase in the assets quoted by them in the successive election nominations? To whom are these people accountable to? When government urges the citizens to pay their taxes, aren’t they the citizens of this country too? Why do their Swiss bank accounts swell when they are in power? Why there are so many prime ministerial candidates? Why do they need to be in power to serve people? Why development means erecting statues? Why sports in India means only cricket? Why only 17 medals in the last 88 years of Olympics? Why are quotas based on caste? Why a government machinery not dependable in the minds of youth of this country? Why government projects carry on at snail’s pace? Why bad roads even when crores of money is allotted in every financial budget? Why do we get floods in every monsoon? And this year we did not even get monsoon rains! May be because to avoid us from experiencing miseries caused by floods. For how long should India remain as a ‘developing’ country? When is India going to cease to seem to be a threat to superpowers and become one? When are all Indians going to be proud about the country without any compromises? When will all the Indians take pride in celebrating our independence day? When will August 15^th be more than just a national holiday?

Read Also India, A Country of Countries

When Pigs Flew

It seems that the Chennaiites are gripped with the fear of H1N1 virus spreading all over the city. Today when I went to Velachery MRTS railway station to drop my father, I saw a large group of people wearing masks following the precautions set down by the government. School children were seen wearing masks when they were taken to the school by the parents. Most school children are expecting an extended summer vacations. Middle aged office goers seem to take no chances with the global pandemic. They were seen sporting a handkerchief tied around their mouth. Elderly people were not so much threatened by the virus. The death of a 4 year boy at Velachery has really made the residents of that area panic. This H1N1 virus seems to spare not even doctors trying to cure the patients. I wish India doesn’t have as many casualties as in other parts of the world. I wish our state governments work in tandem with the central government and tackle the consequences of the virus. I wish our politicians do not rake up this issue for political gains. I wish you to read the directions given by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). If you are a procrastinator, click here.

Chennai Rocked

Every night I set my alarm to 4.00am, wishing to get up without disturbing anyone. But what actually happens is everyone wakes up to the alarm, except me. During my school days I made it a habit of getting up at 4 o clock even on Sundays. But now I could hardly get up at six. Getting up early is one of the best habits that was not only preached but also practiced by my parents. When I wake up early I feel so proud as if I’ve achieved something overnight. In the last four years I just could not wake up as I wished. I keep snoozing on the alarm till morning, and then turn it off and continue to sleep till I get kick from my father. I became so lethargic during my college days. May be I lost interest in waking up early. But yesterday night I made up my mind to get up as planned. I even gave up the habit of hearing songs yesterday night. Still I had a very disturbed sleep. I was not sure whether I’ll wake up to the alarm or make others lose their sleep. To mark the disturbed sleep I had lots of dreams which kept me busy in the night, trying to figure out the characters. I like dreaming because in a dream everything you wish happens. Sometimes beautiful dreams where I would be walking along Swiss Alps, sometimes very awkward, disturbing the sleep. Yesterday was one such night. There were some blurred images very difficult to figure out what it was. I another dream I saw Super Star moonwalking in his upcoming movie Enthiran. Suddenly the scene changed into a climax of a tamil movie where enemies express their regret for their wrong-doings and become good men. The background music was so very soothing. The images were gone and everything became blank. But the music was still going on. I woke up only to know that it was the music I had set for the alarm. I turned it off. I saw some late night junk messages. Stuck in between them was a message that made me wide awake. It was a message from Godse saying that there was an earthquake in Chennai last night. The message was sent at two o clock. I switched on the news channels and there was a news flash saying that there was 8^th death in India because of swine flu and some discussions about size zero and lip-locks. Then I switched to Sun News. There I saw the expected headline. One of the headline even said that our area also experienced the tremors. If it was not for Godse’s message it would have been just another day. After that I could not sleep, so started writing this post. In the morning when I stepped out of the house to see the reaction of the people after the late night aftershocks there was not even a single soul talking about it. May be this time the quake had bad timing. Even most of the the newspapers did not carry the news as it was in the early morning hours. Very bad timing indeed. In DeepSun’s words, "next time better'a try pannu"!!

India, A Country of Countries

One of my college friends is leaving to Sweden for his Masters. He made all his arrangements to spend his next two years of life in Sweden. Only thing he has to do on landing there is to get a part-time job and to get a job he has to learn Swedish. The university provides all its international students Swedish language courses for free. Now imagine what if a student from Sweden comes to India (in worst cases) to pursue his higher education? How many languages he has to learn? There are 22 official languages apart from a lot of unofficial languages. For god’s sake let the count remain 22, because carrying an A4 sized 10 rupee note becomes even more difficult than earning it.

Language is only one of the many attributes of our country’s diversity. Living in the bottom of our country in a place called Chennai, it requires even me to dust off my Hindi speaking skills, at least to manage, when I go to northern part of the country. India is a country of countries. A person from one state is a foreigner in another state. Everything is different; language, clothes, customs, beliefs, gods, politicians, soap operas, newspapers, superstars and recently, their IPL team. If you think racism is only between two different countries you are completely wrong. It exists even between two states of this country. A person from Andhra Pradesh is called a ‘Golti’ (for both genders), but if a person from Kerala is a man he is called a ‘Nair’ and in case of a lady the name by which they are being called is worth not mentioning, if he is from Tamil Nadu he’s called a ‘Madrasi’ no matter what part of Tamil Nadu he is from. At the national level Indians cannot accept a foreigner as their Prime Minister. At the state level people are so intolerant that they don’t even allow inauguration of the statue of a poet from a different state in their soil. They are dead set against people from other state being employed in their state governments. Of course it’s a natural behaviour to expect from people who don’t even allow the river flow to its neighbouring state. During the times of unrest between two states, vehicles with registration number of a different state are smashed, movies made in the enemy state are not allowed to screen, and film fraternities from the respective cinema industries flock together to stage protests only to rehearse their punch dialogues in the upcoming movie. Anybody making a loose talk during such protests becomes the next national issue forcing the actor to apologise to the people in the regional languages of both the states.

After all of this have you started thinking that there is nothing common in all these states? In this country of so much diversities and adversities there are also certain things common – bad roads, jam-packed trains and buses, traffic jams, long queues, price rise, power cuts, terrorist attacks, quotas, statues, piracy, summer heat, floods, Gandhi Jayanthi, and recently Swine Flu!

WADA Podaa! The Curious Case of Indian Cricketers

This paragraph in the World Anti-Doping Code has made Indian cricketers to keep away from signing the Anti-Doping Agreement. This has divided the Indian sporting community into two; lone cricketers on one side and all the remaining athletes on the other side trying to mollify the cricketers’ stand on WADA. I wonder why (only Indian) cricketers alone feel this ‘whereabouts’ clause is going to infringe upon their privacy when all the tennis stars and players of the world’s most followed game, Football is completely WADA compliant. Earlier FIFA and UEFA tried to dilute the whereabouts clause but in vain. Indian Cricketers are surely a different league of sportsmen. They are demi-gods (at least when we win). Top cricket players have a Z plus security cover, equivalent to top politicians of our country. They are one among the groups of people in India who’ll be mobbed when they walk on the streets. When compared to that of footballers, they are nowhere near. When Yuvraj represented India in Euro 2008 and awarded the man of the match to Swiss player Hakan Yakin, people called it only an honour for him to be spotted at Euro 2008 and not for the awardee. No wonder why he was seen sporting a headphone while receiving the award.

India is a country where Olympic culture is ignorant. It has a very poor Olympic record of just 17 medals in last 88 years. Countries like Australia, South Africa, New Zealand and England and even Caribbean islands have a strong culture of Olympic sports and find it natural to adhere to international sporting norms. This national ignorance has made the Indian cricketers feel odd about these anti-doping rules. I think it’s better for Indian players to abide by the global rules to avoid isolation by the sporting community.

Happy Friendship Day

I wish all my blog friends and followers, a happy friendship day. If you want some nice quotes on friendship, you can get them by searching in Google (solution for everything), but to understand the meaning of it... friendship is a feeling that gives us confidence, joy almost everything that makes life beautiful. A friend is one of the best bonds between people. There’s nothing you cannot share with them. There is never a wall between us and our friends unless we ourselves try to build one. There are some persons in life whose worth is not known until it’s missed. A good friend is one such person. Having a true friend beside you will make you ready to face anything in this world. Friends are persons who do things least expected by you. I feel very difficult to explain through words about friendship. Friendship is like a wind, you don’t see it only feel it.

These are some of the quotes on friendship I liked.

"In loneliness, in sickness, in confusion-the mere knowledge of friendship makes it possible to endure, even if the friend is powerless to help. It is enough that they exist. Friendship is not diminished by distance or time, by imprisonment or war, by suffering or silence. It is in these things that it roots most deeply. It is from these things that it flowers."
- Pam Brown

"Life without a friend is like death without a witness."
- Spanish Proverb

"The best mirror is an old friend."

"One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives."

- Euripides, Greek playwrite

"We've shared many smiles and many tears, but nothing beats the laughter."

"The best of friendships are the ones where two friends can sit on a swing, not saying a word, but walk away feeling like u just had the best conversation ever."

Reality Bites

Do know where Ajeesh is studying or where Ravi is working? Wondering who the hell Ajeesh and Ravi are? They are just two of the large lot of reality TV heroes. There are quite a few of them. Reality shows are not that real. When a competition is tailor-made to make TRP’s soar how come they are real? Reality TV is one of the many things our Indians have adopted from the Westerners. When there are some 50 odd cameras capturing every movement of yours, how can someone be real? We feel too shy when the cameraman focuses us in a wedding reception! Had Jade Goody been too good to Shilpa Shetty, no Indian would have known about Jade Goody or even Big Brother show! Even Shilpa Shetty would not have produced desi version of Big Brother, the Big Boss (which is no less filthy than theirs). We Indians always have this ‘why-not-us?’ attitude when something favours us and ‘why-us?’ when something is against us. They have an American Idol, why don’t we have an Indian Idol. They have ‘So if You Think You Can Dance’ why not we have ‘Aaja Nachle’ or ‘Jodi No.1 ‘or ‘Boys vs Girls’ or ‘Jalak Dikhla Ja’ or ‘Ungalil Yaar Adutha Prabhu Deva’ or whatever it is. Having named the reality show as Boys vs Girls, they could have at least tried to have some young guys and gals. All they managed rope in were some 40 year old uncles and 50 year old aunties. The worst part was to make them call themselves boys and girls during every ad break.

When Kambli was tired of sitting in dark, he decided to make his comeback through a loose talk on Sachin in Star TV’s latest reality show, ‘Sach ka Saamna’. The lime light he got through this was still not enough considering his complexion.’ MTV Roadies’ is another reality show where the bad mouthed, tonsured twins used foul language and made the programme so nauseating. There are lots of such programmes other than Roadies. TRPs at the cost of Cultural Values? Government was too late in banning the program. Lots of damage has already been done.

Paris Hilton may have born with a silver spoon to spend loads of money to produce a reality show just to find a New Best Friend for her. But Rakhi Sawant went even a step beyond by searching for her prospective husband in ‘Rakhi ki Swayamvar’. I wonder what makes the contestants feel proud in participating in such a wicked TV show. In the name of 24 hours News Channels, there is extensive coverage for such programmes.

Earlier there used to be quiz programmes for children. My friend Encyclo during his school days (even now!) had the habit of participating in quizzes. He has even maintained a diary for general knowledge. But now what children watch is ‘Super Singer Season 1,2,3,4,5..’ and dream of participating in such programmes one day. When parents of such children don’t take such shows as just another competition and see them a source of income, problems start. Children may lose the essence of their childhood because of the fame obtained through such programmes.

Oh God! It’s already 9.30 and I’ve lost half of ‘Super Singer’. I’m leaving you with this. Got some important work!

Thank You!

I did not want my blog to become a Michael Jackson. He was gone too soon, but I did not want my blog to follow MJ’s way. Having decided not to post technical tips, tricks, tweaks, twists, turns, so on and so forth (unless I find one myself), there was nothing to post. Moreover I have not started attending walk-in interviews. At least such experiences would have provided some fodder for my thoughts, as it did for one of my friends.

The other day when my father was simply browsing the system, he came to know about my blog. He was so happy and proud that he messaged all his colleagues about the blog. The next day when I was at his office to get some of my certificates attested, they were enquiring about my blog. I was very happy. When I was sharing this with my friend Encyclo he told me that even his father was asking him why I have not updated my blog. I felt even happier. Sometimes we feel happier when appreciation comes from unexpected sides. Having got some readership, deciding a blog topic becomes a little complex. Now I feel a little committed to my blog followers and I am trying to post something else other than about my college life. College days were easily the best part of life to blog on. No extra effort is needed to pen them down. Considering the readers from diverse backgrounds, posting becomes finicky. I like to be committed and let this commitment help my blog to get better. I‘ve got a lot of plans to make the blog interesting and I hope to get support from my readers as always.

June 30th, 2007

Today Poker Boy left home late, late enough to miss the bus. Somehow he managed to get into one of our college buses. Even though we were not allowed to use routes not prescribed for us, he was let off by one of the very few kind hearted madams in charge of the bus. He reached the college. Upon entering the class, he would have toppled down by a stone. There is no wonder having a stone in front of classroom. Our college is very eco-friendly. We see a lot of things like, cows grazing our college ground, squirrels running across our classroom, crows shitting on our benches, bats flying around, chameleon scaring our classmates (me too!), dogs sharing lunch with us in the canteen. Our college management even boasts saying that their college is free from hassle and bustle of the city, very eco-friendly. Ok. Let’s leave college and return to Poker Boy. Though he did not fall, he did everything possible to lure gals at him. He even managed to make one or two to look at him. But they were interested only in the stone that stumbled Poker Boy.

Time was up for the first hour to begin, but mam did not make it to the class. We were talking, talking, talking. We made enough noise to invite BowBow to our class. The class became silent. He did not enter the class, fearing the students may not get up to wish him. BowBow barked something to us. Only God and he knew what he said. He ensured the class was silent. When he was about to leave the class, Man of Beauty screamed something at him that made us to laugh. This time BowBow entered the class and came near us. He wanted us to tell him as to who made the noise. We all were tight-lipped. In the meantime, he was searching for a scapegoat to showcase his heroism and found one. It was Poker Boy. He saw Poker Boy unable to control his laughter. He asked him to say as to who made the noise. Poker Boy with a grim voice replied, “I don’t know, Sir” Keeping in mind his Boss, he gave him one tight slap and immediately left the class. Had it been a scene in ‘Saroja’ the background music would have been from one of Illayaraja’s masterpieces in ‘Nayagan’. The whole class was shocked. Poker Boy just could not believe what had happened. What followed was totally the Poker Boy’s show. We all were noticing each and every move of him. He did not know what to do, so he did everything. When mam came to our class, he asked her to permit himself to go out to wash his face. Kichu imagining that Poker Boy left the class to give BowBow as good as he got said to us, “dei edhuku da avan veliya vitteenga”. Scientist answered back “avan moonji kaluva poraan da”. The news did spread like a forest fire in the college. Everyone was talking about BowBow’s cowardly act. At the end of the day, Poker Boy became a hero. What he could not do in the morning happened in the evening. Not only gals, everyone was looking at him with great awe.

June 30^th, 2007 is the day that made Poker Boy the hero. Today Poker Boy is celebrating his Second Anniversary. We all wished him on this very auspicious day. If you have not, please do it. He’s waiting...

What's Nxt?

Graduation completed. What’s next? People have started asking. They were asking when we completed high school. They asked, me when we were doing our college. They are asking us now. They’ll be asking even when we get something to do next. Why the hell they are worried? They are not even bothered to help us. We are not even bothered to give these people a slightest glance, but still they ask, ‘aduthu enna panna pora?’

I know people who do nothing to better their position in the company, do nothing to better them. I know someone who was a clerk, when I was doing, 5^th standard. A clerk when I completed 12^th standard. Still a clerk when I completed graduation. Had he ever thought of himself, he would have improved. So do you know what’s next for him? He’ll hang a name-board bearing ‘MR. WHAT’S NEXT, Retd. Clerk”. After some more days when we come across obituary column we see, “MR. WHAT’S NEXT, Retd. Clerk”, below his photo.

They say they care for us. They say they have a concern for us. Who on this earth are more concerned about us than ourselves. Who on this earth are as concerned about us as our parents?

We joined college when software industry was at a high. People were simply earning like anything. During those days, when my father and I go to supermarket, I used to look at MNC employees shopping. They don’t even care to look how much a thing costs. What they do is, just go around put everything that interests them in the basket. But now, everything possible has happened to make them know the value of money.

Most people ask what’s next just boast of himself or his neighbour’s relative’s tenant’s distant relative’s son or daughter. People ask, “What are you going to do now?” They don’t even care to listen what we say. They’ll start blowing their own trumpets.

The next reason why they ask is to kill some time. Let them pass time by warming the chairs, sofas and benches at home, staring at the TV, reading newspaper, anything and everything that does not disturb us. Why do they simply hang around us when we are so much mystified by what’s happening around us.

So, what I am trying to say is, when someone asks you what you are going to do next, just check if that person is worth to get an answer from you. Otherwise answer something else (spiced up with some holy words) and just walk off.

A DAY IN LH1

The High Class Boy was woken up by his boyfriend, as the bus was taken into college by the driver who doesn’t know where the brake is. He was not happy as his sleep was disturbed. He got down from the bus. He entered the canteen to have his breakfast. He could not resist the beautiful (only for him!) aroma of Pongal, his favourite. Nalla saaptaan. When he went to wash his hands, he saw Body Builder asking him, ‘ethana round da?’. He replied ‘only 4 da, kaasu theendhudichu!’.

Oru vazhiya LH1 kulla vanthaan. LH1 is the class for computer science students. One by one came in and the class got filled. The day begins with our mam taking attendance but not before asking, ‘Whether all buses have come?’ When mam was taking attendance, a voice came from outside asking ‘Excuse me mam’. That is Scientist’s voice. With a serious face (because it was Monday), he came to his seat. Scientist was sitting next to the boy having Hyperactivity Disorder called Sanku. He had a piece of broken scale in his hand. Asked him how the scale was broken, he said ‘dei vendam da, naan tensiona irukken’. Mam started doing her job. We started all our jobs, except listening to what the person standing on the stage was trying to explain. Our jobs include talking, daydreaming, playing, texting friends in the same class and also (school) friends, listening FM, reading newspaper, etc, etc and anything that prevents us from listening class.

In the next period Mobile Encyclopaedia had to take a seminar on Scenic Beauty of Delhi and Agra. He has qualities of becoming a great lecturer and that ‘obviously’ prevents him from getting a job in our college, when he completes his graduation. Our seniors, not being able to part with the college become lecturers leaving ‘six-figure’ salary jobs. Encyclo started his seminar with ‘a good morning to one and all present here’ and ended with ‘thanks for giving me this opportunity’. In between there was lot of action, literally. He was stopped by the bell for interval break. People would’ve heard of canteen having different dishes, but our canteen was a little special. They provide ‘same dish with different tastes’ every day, sometimes with more salt, less salt, over burnt, shapeless, trying all kinds of permutations and combinations. They’ve even patented the dish with International Food Corporation. Canteen is the only place where everything takes place. Birthday treats, gang wars, festival celebrations, everything, about woos and woes. Students, who fortunately battled out of the canteen unharmed, returned to class.

MahaLuckMe was the favourite mam of all the students. She understood the students’ mindset. She became one among us. We’ve never let her take class even if someday she decides to take. With her, we discuss about everything- campus recruitment tips, so called symposium, to name a few. We just could not forget the symposium season. We had one long (for our college management) week for preparation. For six and a half days, we discussed what should be the name of our symposium and for half a day there was actual work done not without sporadic altercations with other department students over ridiculous issues.

Lunch hour, sorry, lunch ‘half-an-hour’ is also an eventful period. Poker Boy waits for everyone to open their tiffin box, he then pokes his spoon in everybody’s food and he then opens. Poker Boy is the comedian of our class. Clashes between Deep Sun and Poker Boy leave all us in splits. When Deep Sun calls him using all kinds of holy words, some already existing and some tailor made for Poker Boy, everyone around him laughs including him to maintain his image among the distant girls who he thinks, always look at him. He boasts of himself saying, “naan la yaarukkum, orkut request anuppa maaten, avanga than anupuvaanga, naan la yaarukum phone panna maaten, avanga than pannuvanga”. (I’ve got a lot about him, thinking of writing a separate blog on Poker Boy). If it’s lunch period, then LongFella has a lots of work to do. After having his food, looks around for other’s food and then moves to canteen. Avan avulo saaptum, ...ceedee... madhiri aagamatendraan, ‘beedi’ madhiri thaan irukaan.

Afternoon classes began with a long bell followed by a long ‘yeppam’ by High Class Boy. The first hour was SOOPS. Our mam entered the class reading the book, continued reading for 45 minutes and left the classroom reading. Along with reading, she also did her excercise, which she could not do that morning, by walking ‘AROUND LH1 (50 TIMES, IN ALL POSSIBLE PATTERNS) IN 45 MINUTES’. For anybody who disturbed her reading, she said, “naaliku nee vandhu seminar edu”. The next three periods were lab classes for us. After a long battle for chairs and systems everybody settled and switched on their systems. By the time we logged on to our system, after a series of troubleshooting operations, there was power cut. In the next two minutes everybody was in the class sweating, trying to beat the heat by oohs and haas.

After sometime, suddenly the whole college building was silent. I could hear the sound of a pen dropped by someone in the first year block! ‘Aayama’ came for rounds signalling the students not to talk (if possible, not to breathe) and ‘ordering’ mam to silence the class. The time has come to welcome the one man army, Captain Prabhakaran, General Musharaf, and Adolf Hitler, all in one. He stormed into our class, adjusting his glasses, looking at the board. On the board it was written NP- COMPLETENESS PROBLEM. He advised, looking at the mam through the gap above his glasses, “mam, neenga example problems ellam solve pannunga, excercise problems’a home work’a kudunga, yes!” He asked us, “how many absentees yesterday yes?” Nobody stood. He was surprised and asked, “no absentees yesterday yes!” We answered him “yes”. Not believing us he said, “no no no, yes!, I’ll check with the attendance and come yes!”. He left our class with his pendulum walks, after entertaining us. The day was over when the bell rang followed by our class gals’ 100 metre dash to their buses. Kichu always had this doubt as to why they do so.

Assignment transfer (Kichu has done a Ph.D in this discipline), searching for their respective persons of interests, wishing bye to non bus travelling (school) friends are some last minute activities.We returned home everyday regretting why we had joined the college. But if it was not for our friends we got, the college life would’ve been as disgusting as reading a forwarded message from Poker Boy!!

D I S C L A I M E R

ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THIS BLOG ARE IMAGINARY AND ANY COINCIDENCE TO REAL LIFE CHARACTERS IS UNINTENTIONAL.